Lois (Poskel) Alpern

סורָה לֵאָה בת שלמה וְפַיָּה
 (Soreh Leah bat Shlomo v’Faya)

Sara Lois (Poskel) Alpern, known to all who loved her as Mom, Grandma, and Lois, passed away at her home in Durham, North Carolina on March 13, 2025. She was 86 years old.

Lois was born on December 29, 1938 in Detroit, Michigan. A lifelong learner, Lois pursued education her entire life, earning degrees from the University of Michigan (BA, Education), Columbia University (MS, Education), Virginia Commonwealth University (MS, Information Systems), and North Carolina Central University (MS, Special Education). She spent her career both in and out of the classroom teaching K-12 math and science before transitioning to clinical systems development for pharmaceutical companies, including G.D. Searle, Pfizer, PPD, and LabCorp.

Lois was a founding member of Humanistic Jewish congregations in Richmond, VA and Durham, NC and in 2007 became an ordained madrich, performing life cycle ceremonies that reflected her deeply held values of family, tradition, and inclusion.

She was a proud and loyal Michigan football fan. Beating Ohio State and playing in the Rose Bowl pretty much summarizes what Michigan football was about when she was raising her kids. Later in life, she discovered the hammered dulcimer and, although no one in the family knew what it was, Lois fell completely in love with its sound. She eventually transformed a room in her house into a personal music sanctuary, where the dulcimer took center stage.

Lois had a distinct sense of style and a deep appreciation for artistry. Funky jewelry, Native American art, cats, sweets, Neil Diamond, and the beach were among her great joys. Some of the best memories of Lois from her kids are of summer afternoons at Virginia Beach that stretched into the evening—skin tanned, hair tousled by the wind, oversized sunglasses on, a glass of wine in her hand, and Neil Diamond playing in the background. She loved being at the beach and took full advantage of the VA and NC beaches that were so close to her home.

Nothing, however, compared to her love for her grandchildren, Sophie Leigh Wilcox (21), Sam Philip Wilcox (18), and Sarah Kate Anders (21). Once they arrived on the scene, she was concerned with nothing else.

Lois is survived by her family, who loved her so much, daughters Marlo Alpern Wilcox and Stacy Alpern Sutton, son-in-law Dirk Wilcox, grandchildren Sophie Leigh Wilcox, Sam Philip Wilcox, and Sarah Kate Anders, and her beloved cat Cali who, in true feline fashion, allowed Lois to live with her, love her and sometimes pet her. She was predeceased by her oldest daughter, Julie Anne Anders, and her closest companion and life partner, Doug Ainsley.

Lois touched so many people—her family in Durham, Raleigh and Bloomfield Hills, her lifelong friends from Detroit, and the vibrant community she built in Durham.

The family is deeply grateful for the compassionate, thoughtful and expert care she received from Kimberly J. Mournighan, MD, MDiv, Cecilia Levandowski, MD, PhD, Bonnie Ferreira, RN, Natella Kataev, RN, Kallie Pournaras, Hallmark Home Care, and the UNC Health system.

In lieu of flowers, donations in Lois’ honor can be made to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

A memorial gathering for family and close friends to honor Lois’ life will be held later this month.

Her memory is already a blessing.